I am always amazed when people comment about how I am, seemingly, ‘good’ or adept at doing a particular thing – even things I don’t necessarily enjoy. Implying that I seem to have some innate talent or that I make things look easy. It makes me laugh a bit, because deep down, I know, I have no talent, other than my ability to imagine things.
There is one benefit to being the person I am, with the only skill I have. My skill is not unique, it does not require special training, or magical powers or hours of study. Everyone is born with it. The benefit I have, is that I’ve chosen to not surrender my imagination, or the ability to think of things in delusional terms. I can’t really do anything at all at a very high level. I like to draw, and I like to cook, but compared to many others who do the same, I am far below average in skills, discipline, or abilities… I am able, however, to imagine and pretend very well that I can and am. So well, sometimes and in some areas, I confuse people into thinking that I actually have more ability then I do.
It is, to be honest, a vast source of amusement for me. It is the reason I laugh and giggle for no apparent reason on many occasions.
There is so little to know about the human condition – psychologists, philosophers, academics, scientists, politicians – all of them have it wrong. They believe that man is the ‘rational animal’ the one who, given a logical choice, a reasonable and well thought out choice; will choose it. They don’t. Most people spend days, years, entire lives, shrouding decisions that make them feel good with a burlap veil of guilt to justify choosing what their heart says instead of their mind. We are capable of reason, and logic, but it’s low on the scale of fulfillment. It may be precisely what we need to get through the most basic of interactions, but it certainly isn’t life at its finest or highest pinnacle…
I fixate, sometimes on the idea of why kids (and some ‘adults’) devour comic books and why they almost always, exclusively deal with superheroes and people with super powers. There is a need for this. Children, maybe, aren’t developed enough to appreciate virtues of wisdom as much as the physical so maybe they gravitate to muscles over mind. But the one thing that is universal about comic books, religions, mythology, imagination, fantasy is that it deals in the realm of the heroic. The ability to rise above and summon something otherworldly, to see beyond the immediate, to act compassionately, to face danger, to exceed the conventional. It is a universal need and characteristic for all humans. Everyone aspires to something, holds something slightly above them self, has an ideal of some sort. To dismiss this as un-natural or adolescent, or something to be strewn aside is naive. The brain is not just some organic computer. We need dreams.
We need heroes and ideals and a sense of imagination, something we strive to be, no matter how ridiculous, because that is the one thing that carries us through the day. It opens our eyes to the sheer beauty in others, how they live, how they hurt, the web of deceit and misery we lose ourselves in from time to time. It gives us a perspective, an apogee to jump towards.
I am, proudly, nothing much more than a dreamer, a person who is constantly making up new delusions to aspire to, a silly person with a vivid imagination…